Rite of passage parenting

If you know anything about me at all, you know that I have recently become a grandfather.

My grandson, Titus, turned a year old just a few weeks ago. Wanting to be good grandparents who don’t rely on electronic gadgets to entertain him, my wife and I have bought books that were familiar to us growing up that we can read or sing together. I don’t know how many times I have sung “Itsy Bitsy Spider“ to Titus as I turn the pages.

It’s not quite the same story as I had growing up, though. This one has a Muppet named Elmo who’s looking for the itsy bitsy spider, and you can push buttons on the side of the book to make different animal sounds. Since Titus can’t read, I’m singing the original version.

We’ve also become adept at singing “Old McDonald Had a Farm,” and Titus is now making some of the animal sounds. But through this process, I’ve learned that many of the songs I sing are not quite right. I grew up singing “Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man.” But I discovered that it’s really “Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man.” “Pat-a-cake” does make a lot more sense. I was always a little suspicious why a baker’s man would be called Patty Cake, and why was Patty taking all the credit for making those cakes, anyway?

The more I look at these innocent children’s nursery rhymes, the less sure I am that I want my grandson to learn them. Why should we celebrate the fact that London Bridge is falling down? And why did Jack and Jill go up the hill to fetch a pail of water? Were they too poor to have indoor plumbing? Most people know that you go downhill to look for water, not up.

Why we do we sing about three rodents who are vision-impaired? Besides, if they’re blind, how did they know to chase the farmer’s wife? In “Rock-a-Bye-Baby,” why is the baby up in the tree in the first place? Aren’t there laws against this? Then we sing, “When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all.” Is no one concerned about getting the baby down before the bough breaks?

And why do we like the nursery rhyme “There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe”? You can see the problem right from the beginning: “She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.” OK, where is the father of these children? Something seems a little fishy here. And the rhyme continues, “She gave them some broth without any bread; then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.” It sounds to me like a little intervention needs to take place. I could go on, but I think I‘ve made my point. Upon close examination, these songs add little value to a child’s life.

Wouldn’t it be much better to teach a Bible story—not as a fairy tale—but as the truth that comes from the Word of God? My young niece came to stay with us not long ago, and she had received a children’s Bible for her birthday. She asked if I would come to her room each night so she could read a Bible story to Uncle Walker before she went to sleep. Slowly, she read each word as we learned about God and how He saved Moses by floating him in a basket or how Jesus performed a miracle and raised Lazarus from the dead. Every Bible story reflects the character of God.

The deepest desire in my heart is that my grandson knows more than “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” or “Old McDonald Had a Farm.” I want him to know “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” I want this truth to be spoken into him every day. I want him to know that, because of Jesus, he is fearfully and wonderfully made. I want him to know that God loved him so much that he sent Jesus, His only begotten Son, to take care of his sin problem. I want him to know that it doesn’t end there, because God has told him in Jer. 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

While London Bridge is falling down, blind rodents are running the streets and a lady has too many children and too little grace, the stories of the Bible lead to life and hope. I may not have much say as a grandfather, but as long as I have breath, I will speak to my grandson the things of God.

Morbid and Horrible origins of Nursery Rhymes

We all know the words, but have we thought much about their meaning? Perhaps we (and our kids) are better off not knowing!

Here are seven classic nursery rhymes that have morbid and horrible origins.

Goosey Goosey Gander, 1784

Way back in 1784, Catholic priests reportedly had to hide away to say their prayers in Latin. If caught by an over-zealous Protestant, something bad would happen. The lines, "There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers, I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs," refer to Protestant soldiers who would search out Catholics, particularly Priests, hiding in the houses of friends, and when found they were mistreated.


 

Jack and Jill, 1765

Some believe this is the tale of King Charles I's attempt to reform duty on liquor. When he was blocked by parliament, he ordered the volume of a "Jack" (half a pint) be reduced, while the tax remained the same, hence more tax despite the veto.

"Jack fell down and broke his crown" refers to markings on a half pint glass in the UK which have a crown above the half pint mark. "Jill came tumbling after" refers to a gill or quarter pint, which also dropped in volume.

London Bridge is Falling Down, 1744

One of the more sinister theories behind this rhyme is the practice of immurement - when someone is entombed within a structure to watch over it and ensure its stability. In the case of London Bridge, there is a reference to the sacrifice of a child - entombed in the bridge's base to keep watch over the bridge. Eeeek!

Mary Mary Quite Contrary, 1744

Mary Tudor, aka Bloody Mary, was known for persecuting and murdering many Protestants. The poem is allegedly about those sent to the graveyard (garden). The silver bells and cockleshells are torture instruments, and the maids in the last line are a reference to the guillotine, nicknamed The Maiden. Oh, Mother Goose!

Three Blind Mice, 1805

Another tribute to Bloody Mary. It is believed the trio refers to Protestant bishops who attempted to overthrow the queen and were burned at the stake.

Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush, 1840

It is believed this rhyme is a reference to a women's prison, where the prisoners were exercised around a mulberry tree.

Pop Goes the Weasel, 1855

This tune focuses on the cycle of poverty. It is believed much of the rhyme is Cockney rhyming slang, for example, "pop" refers to pawning something, and "weasel" means coat.

Five London Nursery Rhymes Depicting Death And Ruin

Detail from Panorama of London, Claes Van Visscher, 1616, showing old London Bridge. Do nursery rhymes suggest human bodies were built into the structure?

These days, centuries-old nursery rhymes about London are passed down from parent to child with less consistency and less accuracy. Today, these rhymes feel more like media commodities, propagated in Disney pastels, and it often comes as a surprise to those who delve into the lyrics that they can depict a world full full of death and disaster. Take this classic, probably of 17th-century origin:

Ring-a-ring-a-roses,
A pocket full of posies,
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down.

Remove those ring-a-rosy-tinted spectacles, for Ring-a-Ring-a-Roses is all about the Great Plague; the apparent whimsy being a foil for one of London’s most atavistic dreads (thanks to the Black Death). The fatalism of the rhyme is brutal: the roses are a euphemism for deadly rashes, the posies a supposed preventative measure; the a-tishoos pertain to sneezing symptoms, and the implication of everyone falling down is, well, death.
Historical London is often portrayed as a miasma of sewage and depravity, and children’s exposure to death back then could put into perspective the rhetoric of any modern tabloid campaign against violent video games. Consider Oranges and Lemons:

Oranges and lemons,
Say the bells of St. Clement’s.
You owe me five farthings,
Say the bells of St. Martin’s.
When will you pay me?
Say the bells of Old Bailey.
When I grow rich,
Say the bells of Shoreditch.
When will that be?
Say the bells of Stepney.
I do not know,
Says the great bell of Bow.
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
And here comes a chopper to chop off your head,
Chop, chop, chop, chop, the last man’s dead!

This old tune proffers a simple story of money-borrowing, debt and a criminal’s execution. The condemned were often led through London’s streets to the sound of tolling bells and, doubtless, braying crowds which perhaps included children chanting this very ditty. The inescapable tragic cycle of poverty within a gossipy, hyper-moralistic London is enforced by a repetitive melody, and the same is true of the more upbeat-sounding Pop! Goes the Weasel:

Half a pound of tuppenny rice,
Half a pound of treacle.
That’s the way the money goes,
Pop! goes the weasel.
Up and down the City Road,
In and out the Eagle.
That’s the way the money goes,
Pop! goes the weasel.

Although its date of origin is unclear, Pop! Goes the Weasel has its geographical roots clearly in London. The City Road and Eagle pub are identifiable landmarks, and it’s believed that the rhyme uses traditional rhyming slang — ‘weasel’ being Cockney shorthand for ‘weasel and stoat’, which means ‘coat’. ‘Pop’ is a colloquial term for pawning, so the first verse suggests the gaining of food money by trading in a coat. Though it lacks the strongly macabre overtones of Oranges and Lemons, this nursery rhyme still versifies a harrowing dilemma: the choice between eating and heating.
An alternative version of the latter has been interpreted as a satirical take on Henry VIII’s habit of decapitating his wives, which would make it a piece of jet-black satire of the ilk of Three Blind Mice:

Three blind mice, three blind mice.
See how they run, see how they run.
They all ran after the farmer’s wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice?

This tune is said to have alluded to Mary I’s persecution of three priests in the 1500s, including Bishop of London Nicholas Ridley. The men’s Anglicanism had rendered them proverbially ‘blind’, and they were martyred before a big crowd.
Dead bodies are one thing, and the terrifying prospect of the fabric of the city crumbling to pieces quite another. This has nevertheless been an image presented to London’s children at certain historic junctures — during the Great Fire, for instance. Our final specimen is London Bridge is Falling Down – which narrates either gradual wear and tear or a Viking raid, depending on which school of thought you subscribe to.

London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down.
London Bridge is falling down,
My fair lady.

Build it up with wood and clay,
Wood and clay, wood and clay,
Build it up with wood and clay,
My fair lady.

Wood and clay will wash away,
Wash away, wash away,
Wood and clay will wash away,
My fair lady.

And so on: there are verses upon verses, each suggesting then dismissing different materials for rebuilding the bridge. As the main conduit from historic, walled London into the outlying Borough, the bridge was instrumental in the city’s development, and its apparent fragility was doubly concerning because people actually lived on it. When one of the later verses suggests ‘setting a man to watch all night’ we enter the shadowy realm of superstition. Some scholars argue that ‘setting a man’ refers to a medieval ritual of burying human bodies in walls to fortify them.
It’s become fashionable to see these tunes as ‘dark’ and horrifying, but weren’t their morbid physicality and interest in social ruin also an effective means of teaching the city’s generally-unschooled children about life and death — about basic hygiene, say, or due financial diligence? Doubtless the youth of bygone London grew up faster than that of 2014. In the 1600s, perhaps three in five would die before age 16. Back then, parental guidance meant introducing children to the world’s cruelties as directly as possible.

A sense of togetherness

There is a sense of togetherness that Nursery Rhymes provide. As a new mom, I found myself singing Nursery Rhymes when I needed a little song to get a smile out of a little one. When my kids were in preschool, they would come home singing a Nursery Rhyme and I’d chime right in. They were songs and poems that we both knew. Suddenly, we had a common connection between home and school. As a teacher, I find myself using Nursery Rhymes with my Kindergarten students all day long. When I need to get their attention, I sing Nursery Rhymes. When we practice rhyming words, we chant Nursery Rhymes. When we need a familiar story to retell in our reading lesson, we use familiar Nursery Rhymes. In the first week of Kindergarten, I’m able to sing several songs with my students who are familiar with Nursery Rhymes. Students who are unfamiliar, learn them quickly and chime in. In just a few short days, we become a team and Nursery Rhymes help develop that sense of togetherness.

Foundational skills in oral language development

We know that listening comprehension comes before reading comprehension. Long before kids can read sight words or sound out unknown words, they are listening to songs, stories, poems, and rhymes. As they are listening, they are developing their comprehension skills. As parents and caregivers read Nursery Rhymes with their children, it’s a great time to ask kids about what is happening in the story, what they think will happen next, or even act out the story they hear.

Creating mental images, based on stories they hear, can be challenging for kids but can strengthen listening comprehension. Television tends to make mental images for us. Kids can sit down for thirty minutes, be entertained with a great story, and see the visual right there on the screen. When they are singing a Nursery Rhyme, for example, there may not be a visual for them to look at. Asking kids what is happening in the rhyme, having them close their eyes and make a picture of it, or pretending to make a movie in their mind will strengthen their listening comprehension.

There might be new language and vocabulary that kids run across when they are listening to Nursery Rhymes. Talk about these words and point them out! Kids will also be introduced to alliteration (a string of words beginning with the same letter), onomatopoeia (words that represent a sound, like woof or honk), and rhyming words. As children are chanting or singing Nursery Rhymes, they learn how to articulate words, practice using pitch and volume as they read and sing, and they are pronouncing words over and over while having fun!

Dramatic play using nursery rhymes

One of my favorite ways to learn about Nursery Rhymes is through dramatic play. Rhymes, songs and stories can quickly be turned into plays, puppet shows or felt board stories. All of these reenactments help deepen listening comprehension.

Puppet shows are terrific way for your child to retell a story or Nursery Rhyme. Using a store-bought puppet show is fine, but there are very simple ways to create your own puppet theater. Draping a blanket over a coffee table or a few chairs can provide enough space for kids to hide behind, with their puppets or stuffed animals. If they are acting out Hey Diddle Diddle, The Cat and the Fiddle, and don’t have a cow to jump over the moon, use a toy horse and just change out the word. Point out that they’ve just created an adaptation of a Nursery Rhyme and that authors do that all the time! Printing characters onto cardstock and attaching them to popsicle sticks is another way to create characters quickly. It’s fast, easy, inexpensive, and the possibilities for characters and props are endless.

Kids can also just act out a rhyme. Grab a tuffet, a fake spider, and a bowl, and suddenly you have little Miss Muffet happening right in your living room. It’s a great chance to develop those higher level vocabulary skills too, since we don’t often call our “low to the ground pillows” tuffets anymore. Acting out Jack and Jill can be quick, simple, and fun too. A pile of pillows will make a great hill to tumble down. Kids will be able to internalize the new word, tumble, and it may even become part of their vocabulary.

There are many great reasons to use Nursery Rhymes in your daily routine. Aside from providing foundational skills for oral language development, these rhymes are fun and engaging for young children. It’s a time to connect with your child, provide a home-school connection, and simply have a great time learning together. There are plenty of Nursery Rhyme CD’s out there too, so the learning and fun doesn’t even need to stop when you’re in the car! One word of caution – many of these Nursery Rhymes were written during a very dark time in history, and some of the rhymes themselves can be a bit dark and scary. Steer clear of those! We don’t want kids having nightmares of someone cutting of the tails of the 3 Blind Mice with a carving knife. Stick to fun rhymes like Jack and Jill or Little Miss Muffet. And by all means, if you are acting out Jack Be Nimble with your child, and jumping over the candlestick, make sure it’s not lit! Other than that, have fun!